The Cornerstone Upon Which Our Life Is Built

For nearly 30 years of my life I lived without a cornerstone. I don't just mean I lived without the Biblical cornerstone, I lived without ANY cornerstone. When times got hard I had no faith, no first laid stone to check back to. The building of my life was being built without any reference point, and it showed.

When trials came, which we know they always do, I would panic. Fear would overwhelm me, because I had no idea if I was even going the right direction. Many times, I didn't even know where I was to GUESS the right direction. I would try to make decisions, but would immediately wonder if I was making the wrong decision. I had nothing to turn to in order to discern right from wrong.

As a girl I had a vision of who I wanted to be. I wanted to be a mother and a wife more than anything. I wanted to be a patient and loving parent, that guided my children. I wanted to be a loving wife, with a husband that cared for me as much as I did him. I wanted a family that stood the test of time, and the trials of life. I wanted a white picket fence, and the cats and dogs that went with it. I felt that this was who I was made to be.

As I stumbled through my teen years, and into my early 20's I held that sacred vision for my life, one that had been doubted and cast aside by more than just me, but in many ways it became the cornerstone to my adult life. When our children were born I learned quickly that I was not the patient, loving mother that I had imagined. I was anxious in my every decision, afraid that I would do it all wrong. Overwhelmed by input from the outside world, and from the input of my own raising. The stone was there, but I couldn't keep the walls straight, because the stone was of my own design.

And then in 2017, the walls of my life were torn down, and The Cornerstone placed itself. Some of you may know that it was a motorcycle accident that changed my life and showed me the tiny light of faith for the first time. As I tumbled through darkness, just waiting for my life to end, I felt an overwhelming calm, and a faith that no matter what happened, it would be alright.

For the first few months after the accident my life felt in shambles, I didn't know what had happened inside of me, but something had happened, and it was undeniable. It wasn't in just me either, it was inside of Sharif as well. Our Cornerstones had been laid, and we were now required to rebuild our entire life around a Stone that neither of us intended to lay, or had ever built around before.

As foreign as it was to build this life, it also felt natural. The more I leaned back against the that Stone, the more I could feel the woman I had always desired to be emerge. It was like I had received permission from the only One that mattered to be exactly who I had known I was all those years ago. I LEARNED to become patient. I didn't just become a more patient person, but I focused on learning to be a more patient person. I prayed with all my heart every time I felt overwhelmed in anger, and over the years, I actually grew in my patience.

I LEARNED to be the wife I wanted to be (and I am still learning). I learned to listen instead of speak, and to be on my husband's team instead of being his adversary. I learned how to admit when I am wrong, and how to ask for forgiveness. And I learned to point myself, and my husband back to our Cornerstone when there didn't seem to be a solution.

We picked up and moved our life to the other side of the country to serve the life that we felt called to. We found our community, and have rebuilt a mansion off of The Cornerstone that was placed for us only 5 years ago. In 5 years we have built a life more secure, fulfilling, and hopeful than in the 27 years before that. I know now where to look to when life gets hard. I know which Stone matters most in the building that is my life, and I know that no matter how big the building gets, or how many times it gets knocked down, that The Cornerstone is there, and that I can rebuild from it again and again.

So today I ask you this; do you have a cornerstone in your life? When the world gets chaotic, and overwhelming, and seems dead set against you, do you have a stone to look back on? When you are questioned by onlookers about your choices and decisions, can you point to one stone and say "that is my cornerstone, I know I am on the right path, because that stone right there is perfectly laid."? Can you walk through each day with peace in your heart, knowing that no matter what storms may come, that your building can never be destroyed? If so, can you name the stone? Can you without doubt look upon the stone and trust that it will never lead you astray? And if you can't, do you desire a cornerstone?

I almost died for my Stone to be placed, and sometimes I wish that it had been placed sooner, or that I could have done it differently. In truth though, the building that was my life had to be torn down exactly the way it was so that I would listen. I had to have my life rocked in a way that I couldn't ignore so that I could see what needed to be seen. So maybe if your life seems like it is falling apart, it is because you need a new cornerstone to build your life upon.